
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
A Silent World
But for more than a week now, both ears have been quite blocked. I noticed that the room has to be very quiet with no background noise before I can hear my computer mouse click. If the radio is on, even at a fairly low volume, while I'm driving, I can't hear the turn signal ticking and find myself checking again and again to see if I have remembered to put on the turn signal. I've noticed that I like driving all by myself this week because I can really turn up the music (to about 8 instead of 4) and, for a few minutes, it feels like I can hear again.
It's been a mixed blessing not being able to hear my kid very well. His whining and squealing and sound-effects and general 5-year old noisiness doesn't bother me nearly as much, obviously. But I didn't realize how much I relied on audio cues to figure out if he was behaving himself. I can't tell where he his by the sound of his footsteps. I can't hear the cat meowing desperately from the other room when he's got her in an over-enthusiastic hug. I can't tell the difference between the other cat making a small noise in this room, or my son making a big noise in the next room. And I can't identify sounds nearly as well, like, say, the all-important difference between plastic and glass/ceramic/metal hitting the floor.
Our main floor is L-shaped, which means that most of the time, I can see what my little boy is doing. The problem is when he's around the corner, or he's "snuck" upstairs. A couple of times, I couldn't see him and called loudly for him to tell me where he was, only to find that he was just on the floor on the other side of the big easy chair - two feet from me.
I can still hear the cordless phone ringing, but I can't tell which direction the sound is coming from. My husband's cell phone was ringing from, I thought, it's charger in the kitchen, and I was waiting for him to go and answer it. Then he reached over me and picked up his phone - from the end table right beside me in the living room. I wouldn't run to the kitchen to fetch his phone and bring it to him (I'm not running for much of anything these days!), but I sure could have passed it to him when it was within arm's reach.
I can't knit and watch tv at the same time anymore because I'm relying too heavily on the closed captions to follow the dialogue. Even if I'm home alone and can really crank the volume, the sound is still mushy and distorted.
It's been a bit of a zen-like experience, all this quiet and minimal conversation. I remember reading about a meditation retreat where people go without talking for 10 hours a day for 10 days. This is feeling like the beginner's version.
I'm feeling disoriented and disconnected. I'm feeling awfully anti-social. It's hard to hold a conversation with someone when I can only make out half of what they're saying. I've been spending a lot of time on the computer this week. It's been nice to have just that little bit of communication that feels "normal." Boy, I hope my ears clear soon.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Perfection
Let me start off by saying that while I am an atheist, I am comfortable with religion in general as I encounter it in my day-to-day life. I have no problem with people who have some faith and maybe go to church, or who say "God Bless You" when I sneeze. I don't mind hearing that a friend has prayed over my mother's recent surgery (though I certainly hope her doctor doesn't consider prayer to be a medically valid treatment option). I'm even willing, in the interest of respect and peace-keeping with people I care about, to have a "serious" discussion about whether I'm going to have my son baptised.
I am, however, not impressed with the type who want to have equal time spent on creationism and evolution in the science classroom, or who want to teach abstinence-only birth control, or who knock on my door to discuss their religion in my doorway when it's 10 below zero outside, or who are greatly intolerant of any other religion (or lack thereof). These are the folks that Dawkin's book comes down hard against.
I've just gotten to the part in the book where Dawkins discusses the arguements for the existance of God. From page 104 is the playground version of an arguement that has been around since the 11th century:
"Bet you I can prove God exists"
"Bet you can't"
"Right, then, imagine the most perfect perfect perfect thing possible."
"Okay, now what?"
"Now, is that perfect perfect perfect thing real? Does it exist?"
"No, it's only in my mind."
"But if it was real, it would be even more perfect, because a really really perfect thing would have to be better than a silly old imaginary thing. So I've proved that God exists."
Responses to this arguement can (and I think, do) fill volumes. The interesting part of the discussion here for me is whether a thing really is more perfect if it exists in real life, or only in one's mind. I, being more of a scientist than a philosopher, immediately start thinking of real-life scenarios where this can be examined.
Knitting, of course, immediately comes to mind. Take, for example, the February Lady Sweater, of which, according to Ravelry, there are currently 5,362 projects in various stages of completion around the world. I think it's fair to say that in a project involving a bunch of increases, lacework, dividing for body and sleeves, and so on, that it is likely that every one of those 5,362 projects has something about it that its knitter could point out as being less than perfect. Personally, I could point out a half-dozen small flaw on my version, though I enjoyed making it and will, I hope, enjoy wearing it - once I finally get around to sewing on the buttons.
I wonder if any of those 5,362 projects could be considered perfect perfect perfect. I doubt that even if I knit 5,362 February Lady Sweaters myself (not that I think so highly of my skill, but given that kind of repetition, I'd like to think that I could avoid making the same mistakes over and over) that there would be even one sweater where all the eyelets were precisely the same size, and I never once had to tink a few stitches of the lace section, and all the finishing was done exactly symmetrically, and the yarn had not a single flaw or bit of hay stuck to it.
Once I put my fallible human hands to work and make something of raw materials manufactured in the real world, small imperfections are shaped as the garment is shaped. Only before I knit a single stich is a project still perfect in my mind.
This is part of why my UFO pile continues to grow. I can imagine a sweater or pair of socks or mitts to be a certain size, texture, shape, fit, colour, and to have a certain look or feeling to them. When I start the project, and what's in front of me doesn't measure up to the picture in my head (and not in a micro-flaw kind of way, but in a colours-don't-match, inflexible fabric, 2"-too-wide kind of way), the project gets stuffed in the back of the closet, as though the project and I spending a little time apart will suddenly make those socks fit.
But is a project that doesn't exist actually more perfect that one that does? My husband has put off making baseboards for the living room for ages because he keeps saying that he doesn't have time to make them "the way he wants them to be." I, on the other hand, am about ready to settle for some old, splintered barnboards sloppily glued to the wall. I don't want "perfect". I want "done". Baseboards that exist, in any form, are to me greatly preferable to the imaginary kind, no matter how nice they would look with the window trim.
I think the same can be said for knitting. The FLS that I worked long and hard on, that fits reasonably well and that's made in a colour I like, is still better than one that isn't real.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Books
"The Big Read (http://www.neabigread.org/) said that, on average, adults have only read six books on this list. So ... copy this list, remove my yeses and nos, and add your comments (favourable or otherwise) about the ones you have read. Don't forget to include a total. "
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen - yes, finally read it last year, then saw the movie
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien - yes - read the first 2 books in high school, then made it through the whole series after the 1st movie came out. Saw all 3 movies.
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling – no - saving these to read with my son when he's old enough. Seen all the movies.
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 1984 - George Orwell - yes - for school
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman - yes - once when I was younger, and I'm reading The Golden Compass to my son at bedtime (well, we made it 2/3 of the way through, but he got bored). Also saw the 1st movie.
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens - saw the 90's remake movie. Great soundtrack.
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott - yes (as a kid), and saw the movie I think
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare -yes- read a couple plays for school
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien - yes, at least 5 times. Got 3/4 of the way through reading this one to my kid.
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell - yes- read the book, saw the move
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams - yes, at least 5 times, and saw the movie
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll - yes- I think I've read this one
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 The Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis - yes - my great-grandfather was Clement Sherwood Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen - started it (my middle name is Emma), but started it too soon after Pride and Prejudice and wasn't up for another slog yet. I enjoyed P&P, but it wasn't exactly light reading for me.
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen -
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - yes, and saw the movie
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres - saw the movie
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne - yes- read much of this series as a kid
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell -yes, for school
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown - yes - read the book, then saw the movie
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery - yes - I think I read the entire series (and saw the movies)
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood - yes (and saw the movie)
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding - yes, for school
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel - I was going to read this one, as Yan Martel and I both went to Trent, but I was told it had some fairly disturbing parts and decided not to read it after all.
52 Dune - Frank Herbert- yes, the first 3 or 4 in the series
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez - I have the movie on the shelf, but haven't watched it yet
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck - saw the movie
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov -
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt -
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold –
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas - saw the movie
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac - yes
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy -
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding - saw the movie.
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens - saw the musical/movie
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker - yes
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett - yes- I'm pretty sure I read this as a kid
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens - saw the movie/cartoon/muppet movie
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker -saw the movie
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry - yes
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White -yes- read this as a kid, read it to my son, saw the movie
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - yes- read a couple of them, but can't remember which ones
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupe - yes- read this as a kid, watched the cartoon
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas - saw the movie
98 Hamlet – Shakespeare - yes-read it for school, saw the movie
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl - yes- read it as a kid
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo - yes (and saw the movie and the musical)
Total read:28
Read as a kid (elementary school/early high school): 17
Read for school (all high school):5
Saw the movie:25
So apparently I don't read as much as I used to, but still log a lot of couch potato hours watching movies. Well, I can't read and knit at the same time, but movies and knitting go together much better.
I have actually been reading fiction again lately. I went through a phase where I was really craving non-fiction this winter - parenting magazines, sciency books, home organizing books, knitting books (of course), etc. But I've recently read a few novels - I just finished The Friday Night Knitting Club, as well as a thriller (The Ice Station) and a fantasy (Windhaven).
I've started taking my little boy to the library more often again, and I'm finally able to take him into the adult section. There's a few books on this list that I'd like to try to read sometime soon now that I'm feeling up to fiction again.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Yet Another Christmas Post
OK, I'm going to stop whining now since I want to put in my 2 cents about Christmas.
I was reading a recent post over at Gluten-Free Girl about Christmas memories - do we remember the gifts we recieve or the other, less tangible things? I started to think back on what I remember about Christmas as a child.
There are a few Christmas gifts that I can remember. There was the year I got a pen and pencil box that had hidden compartments all over for erasers and paper-clips and a pencil-sharpener, and a pull-out magnifying glass. It was a fantastic toy. It probably cost five bucks (back in 1986).
I remember the year we got a trampoline. It was 4 feet across and was probably the biggest gift I'd ever seen (until the year I got a bean-bag chair). The trampoline was used, literally, for decades. I got it when I was five and we have pictures of my son bouncing on that same trampoline. My mother finally replaced it last summer.
I remember the year we got a cat. Well, we got an empty litter box and food dish, and a card promising a trip to the Humane Society after the Christmas holidays. I was so excited. It was probably the one time there was something I really, really wanted to get. I was never the kind of kid to covet a particular big-ticket item (though I have a hazy memory of being disappointed by recieving a home-made doll when what I wanted was a Cabbage Patch Kid).
What most stuck with me about Christmasses past were the things we did every year. Putting up a tree. Making a gingerbread house - and watching Santa's chocolate face get mysteriously licked away during the night by someone with four small feet and tabby fur. Hanging the stockings. Waking up Christmas morning to the delicious weight of the stocking on the end of my bed. Chocolates and a candy-cane in the stocking every year. Banana "candles" for breakfast. I can remember being very excited about opening the gifts, but I can't remember much of what was in them.
I remember listening to the Star Wars movies as my cousins (all boys) watched them on their bellies in my Grandparent's rec room. I had a hard time following the plot of the movie and I think I was 10 before I realized they were actually watching 3 different movies. I remember a steamy kitchen smelling of carrots and mashed potatoes and turkey, and eating dinner wearing a paper crown.
The Santa hat on top of the tree. Being raised in an atheist household, we didn't want a star or an angel at the top of our tree. The Santa hat filled the void nicely. As a kid, I thought it was an ironic statement about the "true" meaning of Christmas. Now, older and less cynical, when my son asks, I will tell him that it is a symbol of what I believe to be the true meaning of Christmas - happiness and fun and generosity.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
21 Days
Well, there is this one connection. Apparently, in Iceland, they enjoy knitting. I, too, enjoy knitting. I get a bit silly with it sometimes, but sometimes it pays off.

Teehee. Yup. My S(p)ock pattern got a review in Atlantica, the in-flight magazine for Icelandair.
Way back when I was a teenager, I wrote a list of things I wanted to do before I turned 30. Being published, for real, on paper, was one of those things. I only missed by a few weeks!
So yeah, I kind of freaked out about turning 30 a month ago. I felt really old for a while. But I also used it to my advantage, too. "I'm 30 years old, for goodness sake, I can wear a pretty skirt for no special occasion/buy booze alone/wear eyeliner even though I'm only going to the grocery store/do some fix-it stuff around the house without my husband/etc. if I want to!" It's been fun to let go of some of my preconceptions of myself and see where I end up.
Though it sometimes seems like I've ended up right back as a geeky teenager again. I figured out how to record (I was going to write "tape", but that's so 1994) music from the radio directly into my computer, then reformat it until it's fit to play on my Mp3 player. I listen to my Mp3 player in public now that I'm 30, too. I kind of felt like personal music players were an anti-social teenager thing, but darnit, I like listening to music! I really enjoy getting to listen to a tune or two as I walk home from dropping my son off at school. Oh yeah, my only child started kindergarten just days after I turned 30. Did I mention that? Those two transitions at once kind of threw me for a loop.
So what am I up to now? Knitting away here and there. I have a pullover I'm working on that will be nice to wear once it's finished, but the yarn is splitty and annoying and I'm having trouble getting it done. I started a pair of thrummed mittens but the first one came out too small and I think my son has claimed it for himself and I don't know if I have enough thrum for two pairs of mitts. I've got, like, three pairs of socks on the go (well, more like on the stop since I've made barely an inch of progress in weeks), plus another sweater, too. But it's getting colder and I'm starting to think about what warm things I want for myself and my family this winter. And I got a crockpot and I've gotten all interested in cooking again. And I've been reading again! I don't really have the attention span for books these days, but I've been picking away at a few, and I found a second-hand store that sells magazines for a quarter, so I got a sack full of those to flip through now and then.
OK, enough run-on sentences for now. If I ever manage to finish any of my projects, I'll take some pictures and come back again some day!
Friday, August 8, 2008
100th Post!
And also, I must confess, blogging has begun to lose its shine for me as well. Like so many small-time, infrequent bloggers, I think you may have lost me to Ravelry. I'm not giving up on this blog completely, but posting is going to become even more infreqent, and I'm not going to let it bother me.
I've had a great time writing this blog, organizing all my woolly thoughts in one place, taking photos of my projects for posterity, meeting great people from around the world. And I will, of course, keep reading all of your blogs.
I thought that today, 08-08-08, would be a good day for grand announcements. 8 has always been a number that resonated strongly for me since I was born on 8-28-78. Today is also the beginning of the summer olympics. I am not doing a knitting olympics project this year. The idea of great lengths of time spent knitting seems much more of a winter's delight to me.
I am, however, setting some personal goals for the summer olympics. I won't share all of the details, since they are, after all, personal, but one of my goals is to exercize for 10 minutes every day. It's a small, manageable goal and there's nothing stopping me from doing more than 10 minutes, but the idea is to get and keep the habit going. I'm quite excited about my own little challenges!
I will now leave you with two cute, little projects that I made this summer.
These little mary-jane style booties are just about the most adorable little things I've ever seen! There's something about tee-tiny baby shoes that just gets me every time. They are for my husband's friend who just had a baby girl.

This is Captain Underpants, a great pattern from the Civil Bitch site. A really big hit with my little boy and his (big and little) friends. I was trying to finish it up before my son realized what I was working on, but he caught me just after I'd finished the body. He then pestered me until it was finished. "He need legs, Mom. He needs another leg still, Mom. Now he needs arms. Is he going to get a cape, now?" And so on. Now he wants me to figure out how to make little clothes so Captain Underpants can turn back into Mr. Krupp, as well as a George and a Harold and a Turbo-Toilet 2000.

If you want to see what I'll be working on in the future, I'm Pibble (my favourite 8-bit snake-food) on Ravelry. See you around!